Chronology - Spring.

Part of the purpose of this blog was to act as a chronology to help me keep track of where I've been.  Hopefully someday, perhaps when I'm old or settled down, or maybe just when I'm feeling down and need a reminder of all the great things I've done I can come back and read my trusty blog.  I'm also realizing that working night shift seemed to completely erase 7 months of my life, so maybe if I write it down it will jog my memory.  I think I shall organize it by season.  And since I arrived in February I will start with Spring.

SPRING.  One of my favorite seasons! So much change and new life sprouting all around you.  What a perfect time to get settled in a new home - there's a song waiting to be written about that I'm sure.  I arrive in mid February and move into this little house with 2 strangers - Jesse and Kyle.  Both girls are very nice although very busy so I don't actually see them that often.  I get settled into my home and am glad to have moved in with people - even if I never see them.  They gave me tips and recommendations on the best this-and-that of the town and were great about giving directions. Oh my word and were directions ever needed in this town!  What a confusing place!  I come from out west where our cities are planned, our streets are wide (and well marked), and our mountains are ALWAYS WEST!  Well, take all those things away and you've got Asheville.  You've got a highway where you can go East and West while headed the same way on the same road, you've got streets that change names numerous times, you've got one way roads, two way roads that should be one way roads, and you've got similar looking mountains in all directions.  Not to mention that every destination has 6 different ways to get there. But it's no problem because the people here give directions like this: "well go down this road here past 3 red lights until it starts to curve and then turn left where the old church used to be and you'll see it." yeah.  Clear as mud.  Still wondering if my protest against getting a GPS unit is worth it.

I've got two weeks time between moving in and starting my job that I allowed myself to try to get acquainted with my surroundings... or at least figure out how to get to work from my house.  One of the best parts about working at a hospital is once you get close enough there's these lovely blue "H" signs to point you in the right direction.  I also had the tutelage of my good friend Jenny who took me on driving tours.  She drew me an awesome map of the big points of Asheville and we would drive around so I could at least see where I was supposed to end up.  She's awesome.  Well in my first few weeks I found the grocery store, the coffee shop, Target, and work.  I've got the basics covered.

my room.

North Carolina is much colder than I anticipated.  When I interviewed over the phone for my position we were having a cold snap and it was -20 degrees in Colorado, I thought moving to the south would thaw me out a little bit.  It didn't.  It's actually cold as snot due to the humidity.  I had to borrow a space heater because my room was so cold!  I had every blanket I owned, wore 2 pairs of pajamas and a winter hat to sleep in and was still cold!  I never actually saw snow, but it rained buckets and my windshield had some very thick frost and I drove through some very thick fog!

my view when I come out of work

moon rise on a cold clear evening

 I remember that not even the second week I was living there Kyle had to get her wisdom teeth taken out.  Being the nurse that I am and being as I had been out of work for a while I was so excited to have my own little patient to take care of.  I would make her soup and popsicles and we would sit and watch Friday Night Lights (the TV show) which she successfully got me hooked on.  I could not wait to get back to work!

I started off work with 6 weeks of orientation.  I was surprised how out of place I felt despite the fact that I came from a "step-down trauma" unit in CO.  That unit had 9 trauma beds, this is a 34 bed unit and they get all kinds of trauma and telemetry.  I have a lot to learn!  My preceptor was J. Cribbs - she's super cool, fun, energetic and we have a great time together.  It makes it so much easier to be with someone you like.  Lucky for me they let me do most of my precepting on day shift because what I was told when they hired me was that that's where they needed more help with staffing.... 

I spent a lot of time catching up on education classes and various orientations and meetings.  It seemed to be never ending.  So many tests and classes to prove that I am competent.  The first few weeks of being back on the floor were especially tricky because apparently when you add narcotics to a very thick and mumbled southern accent it is very tricky to understand what the crap the person is saying.  Oh my, this is hard on so many levels!

the house a few doors down had their whole yard covered in daffodils!

It was the first week of March when the flowers started to come out.  Pansies remained from last fall in the front yard still but the daffodils and buds started coming out already in early March.  Just in the nick time because after the initial excitement of moving cross country all I was left with was a very cold, wet, dreary landscape with anyone who loved me 1400 miles away.

I was so excited about the prospect of new life, budding plants and sunshine that I would often take a run around the park down the hill or grab my camera and walk the neighborhood to find the prettiest blossoms.  This one was by a small stream at the bottom of the hill.  It looked so dainty amongst all the dormant trees - I loved it.

On one beautiful Spring day I got courageous and went for a hike down in the Dupont Forest near Brevard.  I was very safe by telling my roommates exactly where I was going and when to expect me home.  I got to the trail head and the hike was significantly shorter than the website let on so I went a little further and did Triple Falls.  It was really beautiful, even though most things were still dormant.  I was having a lovely time until I reach the crest of one hill.  I see a cluster of older “back woods” looking people, one in a wheelchair and in a very southern draw a man asked me “what’s a little thing like you doing out hiking alone in the woods?  You’re liable to get eaten by a bear!”  I just kinda smiled and waved as I walked by and one of the women shouted out after me “shame on you girl! shame on you!”.  What the crap?!  This is a very crowded trail with small children and poodles, I do not think that I run any more risk of getting eaten by a bear than a sticky toddler or bite sized poodle.  It was a little disheartening that they were so rude, but I suppose not everyone in the south can be nice.

In an attempt to meet people and mingle with my new community I attended yoga classes regularly at the studio in West Asheville.  Yoga, unfortunately for my purposes, is a fairly silent and solitary activity.  It was great for my ability to mentally and emotionally cope with all the change, but didn’t do much for my social life.  I also decided pretty quickly that if I was going to fully embrace the booming music scene here in Asheville I needed to officially learn how to sing harmonies.  I searched Craigs list for an instructor and started lessons.  Her name was Linda and she was a little weird, but I kinda liked it.  We didn’t do that many lessons before she learned that I played upright bass and invited me to play with her group.  She thought we could “trade” services. I’d play bass and she’d offer free instruction.  The instruction was few and far between, but I appreciated the opportunity to play music and meet people.  The other two people in the group were Laura (guitar/vocals) and Jeff (banjo).  They were a lovely couple about my age and we became friends.  The group would occasionally play an open mic night at the drum shop that Linda’s male partner (still unsure of the status of their relationship) owned.  I really kinda hated the open mic nights, but I was trying to suck it up just so I could get out there and meet more people.  I learned fairly quickly that the people I wanted to meet were not going to attend that open mic.  

Sometimes Laura, Jeff and I would get together just the three of us and play music and I really loved that.  In May they were kind enough to invite me to play with them at a festival in Virginia.  Laura’s sister had just bought a house so we stayed in the new unfurnished house and slept on the floor.  In return for the free housing we helped her paint.  She was very pregnant with twins, so she appreciated not having to smell paint fumes or having to repeatedly bend over or stand on ladders.  It was starting to get pretty darn hot in Virginia so we had the windows open to let it air out, which as you may have guessed, let all of the flies in.  We hung up this disgusting fly paper from the ceilings and went on fly hunting expeditions.  Bonus points for those who killed two at a time.  

The festival itself was pretty fun.  It was on main street in Luray.  Lots of vendors and food for it being such a small town.  We played at noon and took the name “Dog Fur Xplosion” - in honor of their super cute puppy Parker, who I loved dearly.  The performance was fine, a few mistakes, but the audience was forgiving.  It was so much fun to play on stage through a sound system again.  We hung out for a bit after the show, shopped the vendors and sat by the river for a while.  Laura’s brother-in-law was in a band that played in the afternoon and we left after that, got take out Mexican and ate it on the floor of their new home.

I drove myself to Virginia because my bass and me could not fit in either of their cars so on the way home I stopped by the Luray Caverns.  It was pretty spectacular!  They made one “room” into an organ by fixing little hammers onto certain stalactites and stalagmites that just happen to ring out at a certain pitch.  It was an automated organ and played a few songs repeating.  It was really neat sounding with the sound bouncing around the rest of the cavern.

one of the hammers for the organ (I think the picture is sideways... sorry)

Well, my birthday falls in the spring and of course this year is the first year I've spent it away from my friends and family.  It was hard, it definitely made the sting of homesickness swell, but my family sent my gifts and called and my friends here did a lovely job of making me feel special.  Caroline and Jenny took me out to Papa's and Beer for dinner complete with an embarrassing birthday song and whipped cream on my nose.

pre- whipped cream on the face.  I guess my camera missed all the action.

The weekend after my birthday Caroline, Jess and I treated Jenny to a bachelorette party.  Jenny requested we not get too wild so we took her out to Salsa’s and then the Chocolate Lounge and finally back to my place where I had silly decorations, drinks and fun.  Being as none of us are really big partiers, I think we went our separate ways still mostly sober around 11p.   

Jenny’s wedding was April 10 and it was so beautiful.  She had it out in the hills of Waynesville NC on a perfect Spring day.  The green grass and blossoms provided the perfect back drop.  Jenny did most of her own decorations and they looked fantastic.  The whole wedding just bubbled over with love.  Truly beautiful.  Being as they met at an open mic and they’re both musicians and had lots of musician friends the reception was set up as an open mic.  Caroline and I had prepared a few songs to play.  It turned out to be a great party and I stayed pretty late.

Cahalen came into town for the wedding and stayed for a week or so.  It was fun to have him around and see someone from my life in Colorado in my new environment.  We spent a lot of time together while he was here, although he stayed at Caroline’s house.  He was on tour with his friend Eli and played a show at the Grey Eagle, one in Charlotte and a radio show half way in between at WNCW.  I got to tag along to all of the above (especially since Cahalen needed a ride from Asheville to the radio show).  I had to work the night before the radio show so I got off at 7am and slept for a few hours, picked him up at 11ish and made him drive the rest of the way.  I had fun being a groupie. We spent one day at Caroline’s building a fire pit in her back yard and that night she built a fire and we sat around and drank beer.  It was a seemingly perfect North Carolina evening.  

After only 10 weeks of living in the house on Swannanoa I was ready to move on.  There had been a change of plan at work and now they needed me to work on night shift for an undetermined amount of time.  I could tell right away that working night shift and having day shift roommates and a bedroom right by the kitchen would not fair well.  It caused a little tension between the roommates, but I needed to move.  I found a super cute apartment not too far from Caroline’s, within walking distance of downtown and only a short drive from work.  Cahalen’s timing to come through town was impeccable as my truck from home with the rest of my stuff was arriving and I was ready to move into my new home.  He and Caroline helped me move and then we threw a party at my new house and He cooked really good food for everyone.  I think we had 8 people there in total including a boy from work that I had a huge crush on - Glenn.  We called it “trial by fire”.  If he could hang with the people who make me silliest and not be frightened away then maybe he was worthy of dating.  More on him later.

my super cute apartment

Getting my own apartment was a big deal to me.  I have never lived by myself before but I felt like it was something I needed to do in my life.  It was part of my purpose for moving out here.  I wanted to grow up and find myself - and I didn’t feel like I could fully do that living in someone else’s house.  I was so excited to get started on my journey.  It might sound funny, but once I moved out on my own I really felt like I could finally get started and “spring” into action :)

one human family.

There are moments in my life when I pause to breathe and to give thanks.  Moments that feels so right, not for any one reason or because of any one person, but just an over all lovely feeling.  Tonight I've been feeling like that. I spent my day relaxing and being fairly efficient.  I went grocery shopping where I caught the eye of the attractive deli guy and asked a complete stranger for her advice on making Thanksgiving stuffing.  She was more than happy to share her tips ... "remember to put half an orange in your turkey!" she shouted at me from half way down the isle after we parted ways.  People are so friendly here.

Tonight I was intending to go swing dancing with a friend from work and some guys we met speed dating (another story for another day)... although I was really apprehensive about going and was trying to think up excuses to get out of it.  Dancing is just one of those things that I never feel comfortable doing... but it all worked out because my friend had to bail anyway.  I sat in my kitchen for a moment arguing with myself.  I could stay home and relax, but I've done that for the past 2 nights, I need some human interaction.

I had met a friend at the garden a while back - an older British man, William, who is a doctor and upright bass player - he invited me out to play with his group sometime.  They played every Tuesday and were very casual (meaning they wouldn't care if there were 2 upright basses).  I had his number written on a napkin and so with my rediscovered desire to make friends, I called him.  It was so great.  He invited me for dinner before hand with his lovely wife and Will.  Will is a meat farmer and band nerd.  We had met over the summer on several occasions through the garden or farmers markets.  Nice guy.

Dinner in itself was a very North Carolina-esk experience.  First of all, getting directions went like this:  "take the road all the way through town, when the road hits a straight-a-way make your first left by the vegetable stand.  the house number won't help you." So, I followed directions and low and behold I found it!  It was the only house down this road - a big brown log house.  Kids were running in and out, one of them let me in even though they'd never seen me before, and so I welcomed myself in meekly saying "hello?" looking for anyone else in the home (still seeking confirmation that I was in deed at the right house).  The house was great - so comfy and lived in.  It reminded me of what an old farm house would look like - cast iron stove and all.  I did find William and he led me in deeper into his home.  I met his wife, Susie, who seemed to be the perfect North Carolina farm wife.  She is short, her back is slightly hunched (from too many years of hard work, I suppose) and she mumbles a little when she speaks.  She made homemade tomato soup, biscuits, salad... all from scratch, of course.  We sat down and ate and, like all good Southern women she forced more food down a person then you'd ever expect.  "Will needs more soup."  It was a statement, not a question, so Will got more soup.  She sent about a dozen biscuits to the neighbors and we still had plenty for us.  I love that culture.  Everything was delicious and it was the community that I've craving so much since I moved out here.

I follow Will and William in my car out to the depths of the hills to play music.  It gets dark real quick out here, but it is so peaceful.  A guy in a really big pick-up truck is there to unlock the community center for us and we go on in.  Its a small group of musicians, but we sit in a round and play old traditional bluegrassy tunes for a few hours.  There is something about music that instantly creates community.  I entered the room as a stranger, but by the end we had a great time and were planning our next meeting.  There's nothing else quite like it. When we leave it is raining - hard.  I'm still not used to real rain storms... especially not at the end of November.  But we hurry and get our gear in our cars and take off.  I left before everyone else and I definitely had a moment when I realized that this could turn out really bad.  I am in the middle of nowhere, as far as I know, in the midst of a bad rain storm and all by myself.  Luckily my memory serves me well and I successfully make it back to the main road and home safely... even if I had gotten lost I took comfort in knowing that Will and William would be taking the same road back to town and would run across me and my car eventually.

I think what I love so much about moments like tonight is just being witness to the innate kindness that lies within all humans.  It reminds me that we are all one human family and we have to take care of one another.

So this thanksgiving I am thankful for my family.

Just getting started.

My move to Asheville NC happened on a whim nine months ago.  I left my beautiful home state of Colorado in hopes of finding adventure and harvesting courage to find myself.  I had just embarked on an epic 10 week adventure across Europe with one of my favorite people and it really opened my eyes to see how big the world is, how much diversity exists and how much there is to learn about this great big beautiful world around us.  Coming home I think I had a bit of "reverse culture shock" and as I assimilated back into my American ways I couldn't help but notice how small my world view was before I traveled.  All I had known was Colorado.  I had lived my whole life within 50 miles of where I was born.  It was great in someways, but I was 24 at the time, I needed to grow up a little bit, come into myself, become my own woman, fall on my face and pick myself back up.  And what better place than Asheville, North Carolina.

Choosing where to move took some time.  It was such an exciting time with endless possibilities - being a nurse I felt confident that I could find work anywhere in the States.  The Pacific Northwest was a big possibility.  So much so that my sisters and I took a trip to Portland and Olympia to scope it out.  I am so not cool enough for Portland.  Than a friend suggested that I check out Asheville.  He had a few friends here who loved it and he thought I would fit in nicely.  I emailed one of the girls and everything fell into place.  As it turned out she needed to sublet her room in this little house with 2 other girls and wanted to get rid of a mattress.  The hospital in town had an opening that felt tailored just for me so I got hired right away.  AND, icing on the cake, my favorite musician was playing the Orange Peel in exactly 2 weeks - just enough time to pack my bags and say good bye.

Ugh, saying goodbye was the hardest part.  I don't think I'll ever forget it. I packed my car chalk full (upright bass and all) the night before so that at 6am I could get cruising.  Seeing as it was mid February (Feb 13th, to be exact) my goal was to get to the St. Louis area before dark.  I rented some audio books and made some mix CDs and I cried my way across Kansas.

an idea of how stuffed my car was

the most exciting part of Kansas

coming into St. Louis

(I'm such a nerd that I listened to  Huck Finn as a I crossed the Mississippi River!)

I stayed the night in St. Louis.  Took myself out to BBQ then sat in the hot tub at the hotel and congratulated myself for feeling so independent.  I got on the road early again the next day because tomorrows goal was to make it to the east side of Nashville TN.  Once I got out of Missouri and into Kentucky things were starting to change.  The snow was fading, the grass was turning back to green, and oh-my-gosh Confederate flags were flying.  Todo, we're not in the West anymore.  I remember being not too far from the Tennessee border but I started getting nervous about my gas situation so I pulled off at the next exit that had a filling station.  I felt like I had drove onto a movie scene.  Back woods, old-school gas pumps, not a soul in site except me and the toothless woman behind the counter.  I could not hardly understand what she was saying her accent was so thick.  I mostly just handed her some money, smiled and said thank you, trying not to come across as rude for not small talking.  Oh Lord, what have I got myself into??

Nashville

Being as I've been stuck in the car for 2 full days I'm exhausted and I have no idea what day of the week it is.  I was so honestly reminded of the date when I took myself out to dinner at the Cracker Barrel.  I kid you not I was THE ONLY single person in the joint amongst about a hundred lovey-dovey couples. It is freaking Valentines Day and I got sympathy muffins from my waiter (no joke).   I called my friend and we had a good laugh about it, but that didn't ease that fact that I am so completely alone in my journey and the caliber of what I was doing finally hit me.  I ate quickly, bought myself a valentines day "date", went back to the hotel and cried while I watched chick flicks on the huge screen TV in the giant comfy king-sized bed.

my Valentines day "date"

I took off from Nashville a little later in the morning for my 3rd and final day of driving.  Only about 5 hours left until I reach my new home and it was such a beautiful drive.  Coming out of Knoxville you enter the Blue Ridge Mountains and you start seeing signs for Asheville!!

the first sign! 

Mountains are so comforting

On the way down the last hill into Asheville I am getting so excited!  24 hours worth of driving, 1400 miles behind me, and here I am, 20 miles away from an epic life changing adventure.  And I get PULLED OVER.  Dammit.  Well, the cop was nice enough. He took me back to sit in the front seat of his car for a minute and he asked me a bunch of questions (ie have you ever had a ticket before?  what do you do for a living?... Cops like Nurses :)  Thankfully he let me off with a warning saying that I would need the cash for my move and as a "welcome to Buncombe county" present.  Hooray!

I get in touch with Jesse, one of my new roommates, to try to meet for coffee somewhere as a "quasi interview/ make sure I'm not a creeper" before I go ahead and move all my stuff in.  We never actually found a place that was open, so we just went to the house.  She figured a validation from my friend Jenny was enough.  The house is cute and the girls are nice.  I'm SO glad to be here.

Cute house  

Once I get there I have just enough time to introduce myself,  unload my stuff and get ready for the Josh Ritter concert tonight!!  I am lucky enough to move to a new town where I already know people.  Did I mention that another friend had literally just bought a house in Asheville as I was filling out my application for my job.  She called me up and was all "hey- I heard you were looking for a place to move.  You should move to Asheville because I just bought a house there"  and I was like "get out of town, I just submitted an application to the hospital in Asheville".  Further confirmation that I made the right choice.

Anyway, the ladies picked me up at my new house and off we went to paint the town red on night #1.

Josh Ritter is my pretend boyfriend

Well, this is the story of the journey to the REAL journey:  my personal path of realizing my own potential and my own strength as a woman.  This is going to be a long road because I have A LONG way to go.  I have learned that writing/journaling is very meditative and therapeutic for me (hence the blog).  I have already learned to much about myself and grown and changed in ways that are only possible when you do something crazy like pack your car and move across the country, But here I am, nine months out and I'm just getting started.