Despite the ring on my finger and the same return address for over a year now, I still have the continued uncomfortable urge to keep my life changing.

Maybe it's the season. The leaves are changing and falling and maybe that's triggering my own desires to move and change.  Maybe all of this will subside once the leaves have composted back into dirt. But for this moment it is uncomfortable.

I'm not pleased with my job. I need more of a mental challenge than what I am currently getting. I've been trying to work with my manager to help me out, but it is taking a really. long. time. I've been thinking about going back to school. In fact, I met with a guy in the admissions office at Regis today to sit and chat, but I still am not sure. The fact that I'm not sure and that this is such a tough decision is making me think that it's not the right decision for me.

Which puts me back to the drawing board.

Go back to school or something else? Change units that I work on (NICU, L&D, etc)? Maybe I could mix it up in my personal life... I want to start a family sooner rather than later, I want to buy a house, maybe we could travel for a moment. Those things would add more meaning to my life, for sure.

But all of this costs money. And Tom wants to stay in Boulder. And Boulder is stupidly expensive. And any new job that I could take would include a pay cut.

I feel so silly not feeling satisfied with this glorious, rich life that I already have.