a word on being alone.

I've learned to like being alone.  I like to go on walks with myself just to look at the trees.  I like to sit with my thoughts and unravel the world around me.  I like that I don’t have a TV.  I will say I spend way too much time on my computer, but everyone has a vice.  I like cooking whatever I want and eating whenever I want.  I like that some days I want to crank the music and dance around naked and other days I prefer silence (if my neighbors comply).  I like having the freedom to sit on my couch and listen to the birds sing and the trees blow in the breeze.  I like that I can close my front blinds and no one knows my whereabouts. 

Don’t get me wrong, I experience painful loneliness.  Aching throughout my whole body, hopelessness clouding my thoughts making me certain that no one loves me or could love me and certainly no one misses my presence.  I do need human interaction and some days I go to the grocery store just so I can smile at someone and speak a few words to anything besides a plant.

But Asheville has been great for this balance.  Had I stayed at home the temptation to go out with friends or run home at the first twinge of loneliness would have distracted me from what I really needed to do - Become friends with myself.

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there is in silence." Max Ehrmann"