1 month

July 2, 2015

1 month until I marry the love of my life.

Its a strange feeling. It’s like I have been waiting for this day since I was 8 years old. Dreaming, giggling, wishing with my girlfriends. Role playing with my barbie dolls depicting what the perfect man for me would be. Then getting older and dating men that were so far from perfect and others that came dangerously close. Just honing in on exactly what I need from a partner. It’s been an incredible journey, actually. Even if mostly an internal one.

I feel so incredibly lucky to have found a man like Tom. He’s such a good match for me. He’s smart (like, not just book smart, but ACTUALLY smart) but he doesn’t make me feel stupid. He can be patient when he wants to be. He’s funnier than he gives himself credit for. He is kind, even though sometimes he forgets that he is. He is honest. He’s going to make a great father. He is a great lover. He is tender and sweet when the moment calls for it. He makes a killer mix CD and stir-fry. He looks after me and cares for me but knows that I am capable. We have similar views on a lot of things but I don’t feel any judgment from him on the things we don’t. He understands me and my needs. He never makes me feel uncomfortable. He’s not afraid of my bark, in fact he’s pretty darn skilled at calming me down. Somehow we live together and I still haven’t gotten sick of him and I still miss him terribly when he’s gone. He is my person. I feel like we can help each other grow in many different ways which will help to keep the many years to come from getting dull. I want to care for him. I want to be with him. I can’t believe I get to marry him. It’s like every cell in my being is soothed by him. He fills me up, calms me down and excites me all at the same time. It’s really pretty incredible.

Of course, I’m not disillusioned in thinking we are PERFECT for one another. Man, when we are both stressed out it is not a pretty picture. He gets stuck in his head sometimes and works himself into a tizzy. He can be too abrasive with his communication or not communicative enough. He is quite content staying at home night after night or watching sports for hours on end. And I honestly, sometimes, wonder if he’s completely got my back. But over all I trust him. He is a good man and he “gets” me. And even when we do have our little spats we always come back to each other, we don’t hold grudges and we’re both willing to learn from our mistakes.

One month from today we start a new chapter together. In many ways its the chapter of my life I’ve always wanted to live. I didn’t embrace my youth fully - I was far to square - but I’ve always thought I would be a good wife and mother. I’m sure it’ll take some getting used to, but I’m excited to get it going. Buying a house and getting married all in a months time - it’s like I’m growing up all at once! Wish me luck! I cannot wait for our wedding day (!!) and a I cannot wait to call him my husband - he’s simply amazing AND I GET TO MARRY HIM!!!!